I feel like I’ve lost myself or my soul. I’m confused. I received a phone call from my overseas education consultant yesterday. It was a hella good news.
I got accepted to a university somewhere in north-east of England for September 2009 entry! Oh great, yeah just great! You can never take Kota Bharu out of me. I know I am supposed to be all jaunty, ecstatic and hype about this. This is what I wanted roight? I lived in a perpetual state of ohmigod-omigod about the idea of studying in UK for years and now part of it has been run through my sieve of memory and lost for eternity. Because ironically, I don’t feel a thing. My whole body actually stiffen in apprehension the moment I heard the news. I mean, I am so glad that they accepted my application and everything. Of course, I would be nuts to say that there’s not even a tiny-winy excitement deep down within me, it’s Newcastle for heaven’s sake! One of the highest ranking universities in UK. To be an alumni from that university would look so damn great in my resume. I’m having doubt about this. You see, just a week ago I sent my resume to couple of companies and even one of them is XYZ company which I long to work for. Heck, I told my Mom if I manage to get a job at XYZ company I am willing to put moi postgraduate study on hold, at least for a year. Besides, I kind of programmed my brain that I would be at home for Eid Fitr, celebrating with my family and friends. And if I really am leaving, there are lots of things I need to get done. From student visa to accomodation, and yes my crazy personal life too, no need to go details about that. In fact, I planned to go to Zoo Negara, few beautiful islands and alot of other interesting places in Malaysia before I leave. And I might have a family vacation to Hong Kong end of this year. And if I say yes to Newcastle, I have to leave like six or five days before Eid Fitr as the term starts on September 22. That’ll be so frustrating roight? Mom’s rendang, satay, kuzi, lemang and many other Eid traditional delicacies.. and yes duit raya!! Oh my I don’t want to miss that! Alright, I’m exaggerating much. Hush stop Azra! Oh okay, perhaps the offered programme at Newcastle isn’t my interest at all, MSc in Transport with Business Management. Nevertheless, it’s totally my field as I graduated from Bachelor Business Administration in Transport from, yeah a local university. So you can really see the connection there. However, I want to take my transportation field to another angle and deeper. I have my career figured out. I dream to work with IATA or ICAO, any huge organisations in the industry. Organisations that rule air transport industry in the world. Or maybe with successful international full-service carriers like Emirates, Lufthansa, JAL, Cathay Pacific or Singapore Airlines, or even our own national carrier Malaysia Airlines. As far as I am concerned, only Cranfield can give me the passport to that sort of organisations. Let’s not go over the Cranfield story again as I already posted an entry about it. Maybe I should wait for Cranfield for October 2010. One more year to go. Gahd, can I wait that long? Actually, there’s another alternative. RMIT does offers a programme in such industry for February 2010 entry. I haven’t gotten a reply from them yet as I just sent the application about a week ago. Crossing my fingers and praying hard.
Anywho, I don’t want to have any doubts on the choice I made. Because at least ten years from now, I just don’t want to look back and cringe at anything. Remember The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost during school years? It occurs to me by now, the poem reflects the situation I’m currently in. One path could lead to another. I can choose to either go for this coming September or stay for awhile, get a decent job and go next year.